Sassy Lil' Fat Girl

i am a sitcom cliche

2008-04-04T09:46:43Z

the old bf was crabby to me last night so i stayed home from work and ate. potato chips with nacho cheese and hot wings and cheesecake and i wasn't even hungry. uh. why do i self-destruct? i've been up all night and i have to work at ten tomorrow. fuck. i have no toilet paper. nothing's more humbling then waddling to the kitchen for a paper towel with your pants around your ankles. why do i eat my feelings? goddammit. does anyone even read these anymore?

what up volcom hat, tall tee; what up pucca shells

2007-07-05T21:37:27Z

so much booze has been consumed. it feels like someone is repeatedly punching me in the armpits.

rip your head off and throw it in your face

2007-07-02T20:38:21Z

that's how weirdly jealous i am.

ooo, i'm all mixed up

2007-07-01T05:31:59Z

i am, i really am. i can't sleep tonight and i didn't sleep last night and i can't quite figure things out. i'm weird and weepy and want to disappear a little bit.

i feel like i'm going to ralph

2007-06-30T20:19:07Z

someone took money from my house yesterday and i really really trust my friends, and i feel absolutely sick about it.

we ordered fancy fake hair off'n the intraweb

2007-06-28T17:16:35Z

and i'm funna get it and have long mermaid hair.

heads up, guys

2007-06-27T00:23:41Z

baking a cake in a toaster oven in your bedroom isn't really a good plan, especially when you balance the oven on the end of your futon and it tips and spills piping hot batter across your legs and chest.

i'm crabby so crabby

2007-06-17T07:47:48Z

i just came from a party full of people and i felt completely alone. it sucks. i can't drink anymore because it makes me incredibly sick and without it i can't function socially. and my feelings are hurt and it blows and i'm tired and i can't stand it but i can't sleep because of a three day tension headache.
i feel mean and lonely and stuck. and i don't want to spend my whole summer in saginaw. and i'm stressed about building clientele and i feel like i just can't breathe. and i'm so stressed about making money so i can move again that it's all i think about.
ugh i hate tension and i hat tiffs and i miss stuff. just stuff. some times things just break for no reason. goddamn it.
and i've never been the kind of girl that needed a boyfriend but i really want one, just right now. i want to be held and i want somebody to be nice to me. i'm also sick of being a dude. i'm such a dude. all my friends are guys and they treat me like a guy, which is nice because it means they respect me but i'm still a girl and i want to be told i'm pretty and shit, god.
and i feel insanely guilty about forgetting father's day.
and i want my driver's license so fucking bad but i need help and i don't want to be a burden on anyone and i feel like no one has time, but i also feel like bumming rides all the time is fucking selfish.
i'm crazy unhappy and i haven't written in livejournal for like two years and now i am and i'm crying and being pitiful. and showing a side of me that i never ever show because i'm too tired to care if people see me vulnerable. i'm tired of being a tough guy. and i hate when people post things like this and i always make fun but sometimes it feels good to vent in a shitty passive aggressive way. this is all embarassing.

p.s. my hair looks like ass. and yesterday i ate a whole casserole.

I GOT A JOB

2007-06-15T20:12:35Z

that's right. i've got one. for the moment. i will make moneys and be a successful adult. and we should celebrate said achievements this evening. mmmhmm.

cudgley, ho

2007-05-22T16:12:41Z

warm beautiful sunny weather
delicious fresh veggies
very best friends
gorgeous lake
fantastic lil' cabin
cheap, cheap wine
best three days ever
ya'll ready for this?

it's official

2007-05-11T18:28:54Z

i hate all my clothes. i hate it when my body changes and i have to buy new things. nothing fits. uh. i hate my hips and my waist and my boobs. i hate my arms. i hate my little round belly. uh. i'm like a toddler with tina turner's legs and giant tits.

man, i was really happy when i lived in ann arbor

2007-05-03T18:10:52Z

i was, when i first moved there and it felt big and i felt grown-up i need to move again, soon, i need to take my test and jet. my mother is terrible. she just is. she's awful.

and now i will take to my bed for a while

2007-04-30T17:34:57Z

nervous breakdowns are super fun, just ask my whole entire family.

fat_titude @ 2007-04-22T14:23:00

2007-04-22T18:23:21Z

sometimes things are so perfectly perfect and fun and amazing that all the shitty stuff you stress over seems worth it. like some kind of toll or something. yesterday was "it".

um uh

2007-04-05T17:02:28Z

um uh, pretty sure i want to move away again, i've been home three weeks and i'm already real over it.
but my friends are here, right?, and my family's here, and i can't move again until someone takes my apartment and that's totally not happening.
and it also seems that most of my friends have moved away.
i never thought i would miss ann arbor but i really do.
and i wish i had more money so i could bounce already but i can't have that 'til i get a job in saginaw and there's nowhere for me to work here, because sister-friend does not do fast food, and baby girl does not fold shirts, and there's not one single worth-while salon in the whole friggin' tri-city area.
oh and p.s. i'm a big loser that does not drive, so how am i getting to said job? chicago is pretty much the answer, and vidal sassoon is pretty much my boyfriend, but the earliest i can go is like august. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. punch my nuts. also, i am pretty scared of going that far by myself, like i have alot of friends there but how do i do shit like that on my own, honestly, like pay bills and shit, i'm a total responsibility retard.
why do i suck?

listen up, jerks

2007-03-17T04:02:29Z

tomorrow, it's party-time, no excuses, everyone will come.
10 pm sharp,
dress accordingly

Gradiate

2007-03-10T21:16:16Z

I'm funna gradiate on Friday, so that means gimungwad partay at my hizzy in Saggy on Saturday.
It's gunna be an Intergalactic Rap Battle, fools; so dress accordingly.
Starts at 10pm
Brews and vino will be provided.

fat_titude @ 2007-01-27T00:30:00

2007-01-27T05:31:55Z

my mom is crazy pants. i need to stay at someone's. any offers?

bre call me

2006-12-18T14:22:48Z

jake: what's, "pro bono" mean?
me: for free.
jake: haha, well in that case can i eat that cookie, pro bono?

p.s. sorry about the potential lack of presents, guys. i'm too poor for christmas.

i'm extremely sick of being too poor

2006-12-04T05:26:35Z

all i really want is to graduate, i hate this shit so much.
also, my valiant attempt at not being shallow imploded in my hands on friday.
i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.
uh, the ghosties will fucking get you every time.
and hamburger helper with no hamburger will give you heartburn and rice cakes will piss you off to the point of tears.
i'm so bored and poor and sad and chubby and superficial.

worst halloween ever

2006-10-29T19:19:56Z

half pint of whiskey + jello shot + 3 beers + 6 regular shots = losing wig and pooping hard and embarassing myself

so, saginaw

2006-09-08T23:01:01Z

ratatat tomorrow at the pig, i have tickets, do you? they're only 12 dollars. please come, and party with me and my ann arbor buds, i miss you turds.

big baby jesus

2006-07-24T14:22:59Z

things i love:
getting paid ten bucks to pee on urban outfitters
esther
matty
melle
not art fair
hans putting his hans on me
ashley's allowing me to drink underage and for free

things i miss:
saginaw
sleep
friends
my moms

things i'm worried about:
being homeless
my kitty

all right, guys

2006-07-04T05:02:20Z

so, about that party. tomorrow. we'll have it tomorrow. tonight was too complicated. i lost my phone and was stuck in gay shitty because of traffic until well after midnight. so tomorrow after the fireworks, shit is on.

i'm so sorry to anyone that showed up and i wasn't here. call my house: 752-8981. ahhh.

partay

2006-07-03T20:57:48Z

party at my place
byob
come around 10ish/ 11ish.